oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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