My Higher Power is John Stamos
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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