Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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