: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
