i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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