im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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