So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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