He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
