Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
