Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
