One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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