Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
