I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
