Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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