she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
