ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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