so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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