u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
