Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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