So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
