I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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