it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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