textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
