so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
