Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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