Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
