For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
