Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
