Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
