Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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