Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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