we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
