whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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