At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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