Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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