I don't think brook has ever known best
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
