dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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