Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
