Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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