We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open