Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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