TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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