he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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