remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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