chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
operation have a gay friend backfired
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize