I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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