When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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