I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
