make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
