she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
