Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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