Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
