I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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