he thought i was a dude.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
These tits shall not be calmed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
