Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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