These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize