Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
