Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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