he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
