They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
